The ultimate debate, huh? Should you be a good guy or a bad guy to be successful with women? The short answer is that it depends on the woman you’re fixing your eye on but the long answer is much more… complicated.
The fact is that women are known to cry on the good guy’s shoulder for the bad guy’s behavior. Is that a Hollywood myth?
Well, chances are you wouldn’t be here it it was.
There’s something instinctual that pushes women to the dark side, straight to the bad guy’s hug. That doesn’t mean women don’t like the good guy, not at all. In fact, it is the good guy they always say they want and they probably do, yet somehow, they end up taking that other path that makes the good guy cry himself to sleep at night, sinking in desperation with his inability to get a girlfriend.
There’s obviously a confusion there, one major one. The purpose of this article is to uncover that confusion, analyze it and get to the point where we can ultimately answer why women behave the way they do. Here’s a video from YouTube of two young women talking about it; actually only one of them does the talking but I’m pretty sure the other thinks alike. Watch it, sense the confusion and we’ll take it from there:
So, The Good Guy Versus The Bad Guy
Women, like men, have very strong instincts. And they’re much better than men in following them, listening to them. They are also capable of recognizing the men that appeal to their instincts.
All women have the instinct of motherhood, regardless of whether or not they intend to become mothers any time soon. It is that instinct that forces them to scout the “market” for men that offer a sense of security. Most men know of that fact or at least suspect so. They fail in interpreting it though. They associate security with wealth or muscular strength. That’s not the kind of security women are looking for, at least not when they’re looking to date; things could be slightly different when they actually decide to settle down.
What they are eagerly looking for is emotional security. They need to feel a protective, overwhelming presence guarding them, someone to be there when they collapse, someone to pull them back up and set them straight.
Now you might think that we’ve just described a nice guy. Boy, wish it was that simple. You see, women further associate “security” with other traits. The sense of encountering a strong personality is one of them. A strong personality is full of self confidence, shows no signs of weakness, no signs of neediness, doesn’t beg, doesn’t call often to check in, is casual about spending time with them, lets them know he has alternatives etc. Because it’s that kind of self sustainable, self confident personality that inspires security.
That’s the bad guy right there. A free man, one that cannot be controlled or forced to settle down. Women think that since he has managed to build a sense of security and confidence for himself, he’ll be able to apply his know-how on them, teach them how to get there, should they need it some day. Making them feel secure and confident themselves.
At the same time, women choose guys like that because managing to get their attention makes them sure of themselves, gives them a sense of personal achievement. They are also attracted to their sense of mystery and danger. They want to unravel it, to experience it.
That’s just nature, nothing can be done to alter our instincts. At least nothing that we know of.
Which Guy Should You Be To Succeed With Women?
The answer may shock you… You need to be BOTH guys.
That’s right. The best way to become irresistible to women is to give them the impression you can appeal to all their instincts. And the best way to do that is to be true with yourself, feel good with who you are. Don’t wanna be a pure bad guy? Then don’t. Don’t be a cry baby either though. Forgive her mistakes but never, ever forgive the same mistake. Don’t be afraid to explode, let your anger go free. It’s totally natural and it turns most women on. Don’t talk too much, act like there’s some things you keep to yourself. Things that you know of but never speak of. Create some mystery around you.
Be gentle with them but, at the same time, be harsh with them if needed. Be romantic or let the animal inside you roar. Show them you can play both roles. Be both a good guy and a bad guy as needed. That alone with empower your authority and status, especially if you prove yourself right once or twice in a given matter or conflict.
Do that and you’ll become the superior male. Not a bad guy. Not a good guy. A guy in between. The guy who gets what he wants.