Men who are trying to learn how to get a girlfriend will receive tons of conflicting advice from well-meaning family members, friends and information online. However, the real key to finding a girl who wants a steady relationship is learning to be comfortable with yourself and knowing what you really want.
The following tactics can help you learn how to get a girlfriend and avoid common mistakes that lead to rejection. Chances are, some of these things will come easily to you while others might be areas where you can make changes. Take an honest look at yourself and see how these tips apply to you.
Learning How To Get a Girlfriend
1. Learning To Talk To Girls
For many men, talking to the opposite sex seems to come easily. However, some guys find themselves completely overwhelmed at the possibility of talking to a girl they find attractive. Overcoming this obstacle is the most important step in developing a meaningful relationship with a girl.
Start by talking to as many women as possible on a daily basis. Don’t just try to talk to the girl of your dreams. Talk to women of all ages of many personality types and appearances. This will help you become accustomed to carrying on a comfortable conversation with a woman. This will serve you well when the time is right.
2. Don’t Use Pick Up Lines
How many times does a cheesy pickup line work in movies and on television? Rarely. In real life, they are even less effective. Preplanning complicated pick up lines or introductions won’t make a girl feel comfortable. Anyone who suggests this type of behavior on the subject of how to get a girlfriend probably doesn’t have much experience or success with women.
3. Live In The Moment
When the time does come to talk to a girl that you see as potential girlfriend material, don’t overthink the conversation. Remember, first conversations with someone you find attractive shouldn’t be radically different than those you’d have with any other person you just met. Your goal should be to have a comfortable exchange with the person.
4. Be Interested
The best way to be interesting is to be interested. Ask a girl about what she likes. Work on being observant. If you notice she is carrying a certain book, has a certain band logo on her shirt or has equipment for a specific sport or hobby, you can casually mention these things or ask her about them. Be careful not to give off the vibe that you’ve been watching too closely and have too much information.
When it comes to talking about yourself, don’t give out loads of information during the first conversation. If she asks about your job, hobbies or anything else, answer honestly but avoid going into deep, passionate descriptions of your hobbies, job or other factors of your life. Steer the conversation back toward her life.
5. Humor Counts
Humor is key in learning how to get a girlfriend. Most girls love to laugh with their boyfriend. Don’t be afraid to make some self-depreciating remarks or jokes about something happening nearby. Avoid insulting or mean-spirited humor at the cost of the girl or those around. If humor doesn’t come naturally to you, work on it around your family and other female friends. This will help you feel relaxed and be funny when you talk to a girl you potentially like.
6. Compliments
Complimenting a girl might seem like a minefield to some guys. You don’t want to say something that comes on too strong, but you do want to show that you’re interested. Work on giving genuine compliments to any women that you know regardless of age or personality. Avoid making compliments of a sexual nature since it will most likely make a girl very uncomfortable.
7. Know When To End Initial Conversations
Conversations that drift on too long can become awkward and uncomfortable. There is really only so much you can discuss the first time you speak to someone before you start getting into detailed, private discussion. The first conversation is not the time for this.
If you’ve had a great initial chat with a girl, it might be tempting to try to keep the conversation going as long as possible. A better tactic is to end the conversation on a positive and fun note. It also gives the impression that you are a busy person who has a life. You are not a desperate guy who is going to become a clingy boyfriend later on. Instead of dragging a conversation on too long, leave her wanting more and make some sort of arrangement to talk at another time.
8. Take the Initiative
Most women like a man who is somewhat assertive but not domineering. Don’t be afraid to make your move when the time is right. Asking a girl out does not have to be a big production. Have some options ready and have a clear plan. You can show you’re assertive but still thoughtful by having two options and asking her what sounds good.
9. Put Yourself Out There
If you sit home and watch TV every weekend, you could be the nicest guy on the planet yet never meet the right girl. You don’t need to be going to clubs and bars if that’s not what you’re into, but you do need to do something to put yourself out there in a place where there are women to meet.
Look for social activities that have to do with your hobbies and interests. You’ll automatically feel comfortable in these situations since you know about the topic at hand. You’ll be more likely to meet a girl with similar passions in these situations.
10. Be A Good Person
Perhaps the best advice for learning how to get a girlfriend is to work on yourself first. If you are a genuinely good person it will show. Do good things for other people, not just when women are watching. You never know if a girl might ask someone you know for an opinion about you. If you’re a good person and treat everyone you know with respect, you don’t have to worry about who she talks to. She’ll only hear good things from everyone.
If you spend time doing things that help others and avoid offensive or immature behavior but still have fun and don’t take yourself to serious, your confidence will naturally skyrocket. Women will notice this. You’ll also have more to offer someone who wants a serious relationship. If something holds you back from feeling good about yourself, it will affect your relationship.
How To Get a Girlfriend – Mistakes To Avoid
There are some common pitfalls that ruin the chances of many men when it comes to learning how to get a girlfriend. Take a look at some of these mistakes and how to avoid them.
Taking Bad Advice
For some reason, most guys are ready to give relationship advice to their friends even if they’ve never had a successful relationship. Think about who you’re taking advice from. If your party animal friend who always makes perverted jokes and has never had a steady girlfriend is offering you relationship advice, is it really going to be solid? Think about the source. It might be better to ask women you know well or family members who are in successful relationships near your same age group for advice. Remember, every relationship is different and in the end you’ll have to learn what works for you and what does not.
Obsessing Over Relationships
Some men want so badly to have a relationship that the entire process gets blown out of proportion. Those who want to know how to get a girlfriend need to keep in mind that there is more to life than just having a girlfriend. If they become obsessed with girls and relationships, they’ll overthink everything they do. Things can go even worse when they start to focus too much on a woman they haven’t even met.
Keep your life filled with other activities that you enjoy. Pick activities that will give you something to offer a girlfriend in the future. This might include hobbies, fitness or volunteer activities. Work on yourself instead of obsessing and when the right girl comes along, things will develop naturally.
Don’t Overthink Things
If you put on a good show, you might impress a girl, but if she becomes your girlfriend under pretentions, can you really keep up your show forever? Eventually, a girl will see you aren’t who to pretended to be. Many guys have a tendency to overthink things when learning how to get a girlfriend. They analyze every decision they make and end up paralyzed with fear.
Remember that not every girl is going to like you. This is just a fact of life. Be yourself and don’t let it get to you if someone rejects you. Would you really want to be with someone in a long-term relationship that doesn’t like you for who you are? Neither person would be happy in such a relationship. Be yourself and think about everything you do on the merit of the kind of person you are.
Using these basic tactics will help you learn how to get a girlfriend and develop meaningful relationships. It might not happen with the next girl you talk to, but patience and perseverance pays off. Think about how to apply these tips on how to get a girlfriend to your own life and you might just find the girl of your dreams before you know it.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Wish men acted like you suggested here. I know I would fall for it
Some great stuff in this post. Reading “do not use pick up lines” was a mild sock, I have to admit. I always imagined the moment I’d meet her in my mind, trying to come up with things to say and stuff.
I think I get the point you’re trying to make though. I have to try and stop that…