Suspense! It’s used everywhere to keep us hooked. The nightly news says, “something in your home may be killing you!” but they don’t tell you for another two hours what it is. Your favorite weekly show ends with the hero hanging off a building and the ominous phrase “to be continued…”
You might find it irritating at the moment, but the truth is, it works. Suspense and anticipation are something that humans enjoy. A little bit of anticipation can go a long way in making something interesting. Fortunately, it can work for guys trying to get the attention of that special girl.
The Art of Anticipation
As men, we tend to go “all in” as soon as we decide a girl is what we’re looking for. We’d run over to her house in the middle of the night if she asked us to. We’d call her every 10 minutes if we thought it would win her over. However, women tend to take more time to become fully invested in a relationship. Although there are exceptions to the rule, it can take longer for a girl than for a guy to really make up their mind about how they feel about someone.
Fortunately, you don’t have to be the most interesting guy in the world to get her attention. Often times, less is more. Take that weekly serial, for example. Would it really be more enjoyable as a huge 12-hour block of television? Sometimes the suspenseful moments are resolved quickly and end up being not such a big deal. It’s the anticipation that makes it so enjoyable.
The same is true with dating and getting to know someone. A little bit of mystery and a little bit of waiting can help both parties realize just how they feel about the other. It might seem like a risky thing to go against your “all in” instinct, but often times, that “all in” mentality is what makes a guy come on too strong and scare a girl off.
How It Can Work For You
If you’re trying to get to know a girl and it’s obvious she isn’t head over heels in love with you just yet, overdoing it is never the answer. For whatever reason, she isn’t invested in the idea of being with you just yet. But if there is at least some contact, you can capitalize on this to help her see just how good you can be to her.
Instead of aiming for as much contact as possible, think about making whatever contact you do have particularly interesting. If you know she’s into a certain hobby or style of music, you could do something as little as sharing a link to a news article, video or something that has to do with it. It shows you were thinking about her without coming off like a stalker. You could just say, “Hey, I remember you liked this band and I saw this cool live bootleg video, check it out.” This doesn’t break any personal boundaries but it does show that you were thinking about her and listening to what she said she likes.
When you texting or having a conversation with her, don’t drag it out. You might enjoying it but if the conversation drifts past the interesting point, she might start looking for a way out, and the thought of your next phone call might not be a pleasant one. End calls or texting conversations on a positive note. Maybe mention something you want to talk about later or an upcoming event but don’t try to drag things out.
By exercising a little control in the way that you communicate, you can help the girl to see the best you have to offer first. This might change her overall view of you and with time, you asking her out wouldn’t seem like a strange turn of events.
Don’t Go Too Far
Some guys have the “suspense factor” working for them without knowing it. They don’t want to share any details, or worse, they’re players keeping their options open. You don’t want to give this impression. Give good reasons for your minimal communication, instead of saying, “I’ll talk to you in a week or so”, you could say, “Well I’m going out of town but maybe we can talk next week?” If an interest is developing, the girl will know you aren’t running around with someone else.
Suspense Isn’t Easy
This might seem totally against our normal inclinations when it comes to dating. The time will come to shower your girl with attention. However, if she still has her reservations, for whatever reason, a little suspense can go a long way. Stay tuned for more articles.